- diary of a fic†ional character

Relocation

2006-08-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

Hie, this blog will be moving to a new location under Wordpress. The new url is http://cloudie.wordpress.com. Thanks to blogspot for holding this little online journal and you all for reading it.

Overdue Gratitude

2006-08-25T01:21:00.000+08:00

He'd like to say thanks to a few very kind people.

Glennis and Junming, for the Woods sweets and the Pi Pa Kao.
Shuhui and Ah Seng, for helping him print his tutorials.
His student, Brandon, for being so nice to him yesterday.
Guoyi, for helping him with his laundry.
Jobeth, for buying dinner and making honey water for him.

He apologises for these overdue thanks (busy week) but he is really very touched by what these people did for him (he was, still is, down with cough). People like them make his day brighter. Thank you all again.

Change

2006-08-19T12:19:00.000+08:00

He wanna change blogskin! He wanna change blogskin! He wanna change blogskin now!

But he cannot find any suitable one... This skin cannot work; it doesn't even look like a diary.

Joy Rating

2006-08-17T10:44:00.000+08:00

Joy Rating (noun): A scale from 0 to 10, indicating how much joy is derived from a certain activity. 10 being the maximum amount of joy gained while 0 means that there is no joy to be gained.

He should play scrabble with real people more. It's definitely more fun than playing online with a person that may be 2000 miles away. All the excitement, the crapping, the jokes... lol! Screw cybernet! Hmmm... but he really need more training before the showdown with Jobeth. He almost lost to Yansen yesterday (saved by 2 timely bingos)! For all you sceptical people out there, scrabble is not a boring game. It is how exciting you want it to be! He's sure Beth and the rest of the "bona fide scrabblets" agree with him. Joy Rating : =] (8.5/10)

He discovered a new trend in himself. Whenever he gets tired from lacking sleep, he gets high and start babbling nonsense at an astonishing rate. The convenient thing is that he forgets everything after a slumber session. Could be useful but also can be a bane. Joy Rating : N/A (-/10)

T'was the clan barbeque yesternight too. Turned out well if one just focus on the event itself. Forgot what he ate but thought his hunger was sated. He saw Joyce, someone he hasn't really seen/talked to for quite some time. And of all topics to talk about, they chose her. Ah well... it's better that way he guess. He cannot always run away from that topic anyhow. But he's still happy to see Joyce. Joy Rating : =] (7/10)

Like a roller coaster ride, Life has its ups and downs. Yesterday and today are no different. The barbeque, as mentioned earlier, turned out well. However, the niggly unsolved conflicts within the clan reared its ugly head and gave the wonderful night a bad ending. Why do people always have to find faults with issues? Can they just let everything go, sit back and enjoy? These people have nothing to do. Oh, mentioning about finding faults, he was slightly annoyed by this particular person who gatecrash every (maybe every is too much but it's 2 out of 2) food event uninvited and scoot when it's time to settle the bill. Never mind. Back to the bigger issue, maybe he should follow Cassandra's advice and not bother about it anymore. Something he should try. Joy Rating : >=[ (-10/10)

He went on to miss his first tutorial of the day. He glanced at his timetable yesterday and decided that his lesson would start at 1030. Setting his alarm to 0930, he went to bed without blogging what he felt like ranting (today's entry would be different if he'd blogged 8 hours earlier). The warning bells were there. Got a wake-up call from Yulin Dajie at 0800. A message from Emileo at 0940. He missed them all. He woke up at 1000, thinking he still had time to snooze somemore. When he finally woke up at 1015, he decided to skip the tutorial. So he called Zhenwei to help him sign the attendance sheet. Then he got a very strange reply: the attendance sheet was taken back by the tutor already. But the lesson wasn't even supposed to start yet! Was it? He went to check his timetable again. Lo! The correct start time? 0930. How lame. Joy Rating : =/ (-2/10)

Office

2006-08-15T17:32:00.000+08:00

He is thinking about running for the office of Hall 8 Junior Common Room Committee Honorary Secretary General. Wow, quite a mouthful is it not? The moment the intention was out in the open, he was faced with a plethora of responses. Some said, "What a waste of time!" while others gave their support and best wishes. Hmm...

Joining a committee is like taking one load of dung. Joining JCRC is like taking one big load of dung. If he doesn't not carry this one big load of excrement, he will have to shoulder many small loads of it. His logic tells him that one big pile of shit is way better than many small piles of shit. So hence his intention run for the JCRC Hon. Gen. post.

The problem now is, of course, how to gather votes. Tricky, tricky. Time not to antagonise anyone now. Put on your bestest of smiles now, it's election time.

Rain

2006-08-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

It rained like mad today. Seems like Heaven is griefing for someone. Might as well, since there has been so much happenings lately.

Good thing the Lebanon Ceasefire came.

Ranting

2006-08-14T02:04:00.000+08:00

Can you, 'A' Clan seniors, stop squabbling among yourselves not? Stop all the nonsense already.

Stop, stop, stop!!!!!!!!!!

Cui

2006-08-09T11:58:00.000+08:00

Near to/on the 2nd month anniversary, bad things start to come in swarms. Maybe there is really such a thing as Karma. Anyway, if there are 5 things to describe what our little protagonist is feeling now, they are:

messed up
remorseful
hypocritical
blue
cui

By the way, "cui" roughly means broken beyond any hope of repair. May be wrong though. And because of all these, he takes back everything he had said yesternight.

New Look

2006-08-07T14:03:00.000+08:00

He spots contact lenses and a new hair colour now.

He feels so weird wearing the lenses. Nauseous too. He wonders if he wore them inside out or something.

Argh, no time, no time. He needs to rush off for lunch now.

camp part 1

2006-08-07T10:48:00.000+08:00

Finally the six days of camp is over. Lots of words to describe it: tiring, draining, eventful (in both senses of the word), hot etc. The weather was really punishing, scorching and burning and now he spots a new tan on his back, face and arms. Looks like a Malay. =P

Drama unfolded even on the first day of camp. There was a longstanding conflict between the "potatoes" and the "cheenas" in the clan. Conflicts rose from the selection of cheers, games to play and even the handling of the freshies. He was lucky that he was busy with his programmer stuff that day. Headache not needed! Not that it was all smooth sailing on that front though: two clan group leaders squabbled with each other over an unimportant game, calling each other cheats and stuff. HaiZ... Kinda lame and childish, come to think of it. So it was dealing with this kind of petty quarrels that led him to miss the most important disagreement on that day.

"I appreciate the help that the SAs have given us, but I'm a selfish person. I prefer if you let us die alone", said a headstrong group leader from his clan at the debrief on the first night (roughly quoted). He still cannot understand why anyone would say that to people who help out. Even now. Sounds kind of ungrateful when everyone is trying to make the camp work. But such as things went, he missed out on the drama of the first night.

The next few days were marked by a severe lack of sleep. However, it was fun working with Yulin and Siqi on the programmer stuff. Tiring though but he would go through it again with them. Haha~ Alas, it was again spoilt by the aforementioned GL. It is okay not to contribute to the teaching and leading of cheers. After all, she is a "potato" who is unfamiliar with the hokkien cheers and a girl who is not as loud as a guy when it comes to shouting cheers. It is, however, not okay to disrupt someone who is trying to do your work for you. If you are not happy with the cheers others teach and lead, step up and take hold of the reins yourself. Don't go and show your stupid black face at them. If you can't, leave it to someone else. His impression of her was getting more and more tarnished by the second. Ah... the camp is over anyway... no point mulling over dumb stuff like that.

Fright night returned mixed results. The first few couples that came in were so... unaffected (if he may use this word) that he felt like changing for other roles. Just when the cast wanted to give up after getting so disappointed, a squirmish couple came and brightened up their night (forgive the pun). It was totally gratification guaranteed from then on. After the dust settled, what he got was satisfaction (at another job done) and a small burn (he accidentally got burnt by joss sticks).

Hmm... only got the stamina and time for so much now. He will continue the story afterwards. Maybe later in the night.

Spooked

2006-07-29T02:22:00.000+08:00

It was to be the final fright night rehearsal yesternight (friday). However, the cast was given the fright instead.

Guess what? The venue for the night disappeared! It's not that they had made a mistake/wrong turn somewhere along the road. The entire place was torn apart and in the words of the chair, "had new grass growing all over it." Amazing how a place can change in a little over a month. Now, at the eleventh hour, the race is on to find an alternative venue to host the all-important fright night for the freshnmen orientation camp.

But the above wasn't really that frightening, was it? The scariest part of the night came later when everyone was gone, leaving him and another fellow actor waiting at a deserted rural road. Not that they were afraid of the supernatural or the fact that it is the lunar seventh month. In fact they were more bothered about the dog shit on the floor and mosquitoes swarming around them. And, of course, the discussion about whether to play mahjong after that.

After finally declaring that the suspicious pile (bloob/splat whatever) was indeed doggie poop, they decided to move down the road, towards the supposed exit of the damned place. What a wrong decision it turned out to be. As they walked, they realised from the high frequency of barkings, that there are plenty of dogs around. Now that is not strange, given the agricultural nature of the area. What worried them was the intensity of these barks. Thus they agreed that upon seeing a dog in front of them, they will stop all movement and observe its movement before deciding the next course of action.

They really did see the dogs. Behind a rusty gate, barking and growling. They turned and slowly retreated. He remembers these movies where by there are scenes depicting a chase. There would be a person trying to escape and a group of people trying to catch him. At the beginning both parties would be running around without knowing the whereabouts of each other. Then by wicked fate they would stumble across each other. Then there would be this surreal moment of stillness when neither party would move (to absorb the presence of each other). Then the spell breaks and the pursuit begins.

That was what happened here. There were these two dogs in a distance crossing the road. He paused, in adherence to the prior agreement. His friend stopped ahead of him. The dogs stopped too. And as the dogs turned, adrenaline started to course through their bloodstreams, slowing all motion. There was this briefest of peace before the lead dog started barking. The trailing one started to run towards them. And he turned to run. Followed by his friend. And the pursuit began.

He used to think being chased by dogs is something very funny. Something to laugh about. Not anymore. It's actually quite frightening being chased by two ravening dogs. And they were almost cornered too. If the dogs never gave up, he and his friend would have ran into another pack of dogs. Surrounded by dogs is way, way, way worse than being chased by dogs.

Phew. Good thing that didn't happen. As they huddled there in the dark, trying to keep as quiet as possible, they thought of an idea for the fright night: throw a pair of freshies in this area and let them make their way out of this doggie-infested hell hole. Hmm.. Wonder if the guy will abandon the girl...

A List

2006-07-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

Since the new semester is starting and it's time to "learn" again... here is his alternative "Top 10 Wanna Learn List". Disclaimer: list is accurate at post time.

1 - to ride a motorbike (inclusive of getting the class 2B license)
2 - to play softball
3 - to be a better tutor
4 - to run faster and further
5 - to cook (other than the normal noodle-fare)
6 - to organize his stuff
7 - to take photos (from the beginning again)
8 - to drift
9 - to let things go
10 - not to waste time coming up with such a list

Love of my Life

2006-07-17T14:35:00.000+08:00

Love of my Life - Case

Such vivid thoughts came running through my mind
All the time I had the chance to make you mine
I let that chance go and slip away
And I still regret it to this day
Cause I knew you were that special kind of love everywhere
As if you fell down from up aboveBut at that time I was too blind to see, oh and now

I may have lost the true love of my life
Cause I know in my mind I was afraid
I could belong to the wrong someone else
Cause I know in her heart she was afraid

The other night I saw you with your friend
Wondering if you are happy in love with him
We said hello and then I moved along
Felt so wrong but I knew I had to carry
Couldn't look each other up in the eye
Knowing if we did we be paralyzed
Knowing these feelings are still here, and I

I may have lost the true love of my life
Cause I know in my mind I was afraid
I could belong to the wrong someone else
Cause I know in her heart she was afraid

But if the day comes along that
You are by my side
Then I will not have to say, whoa

I may have lost the true love of my life
Cause I know in my mind I was afraid
I could belong to the wrong someone else
Cause I know in her heart she was afraid

Grateful

2006-07-16T00:34:00.000+08:00

This may sound hypocritical coming out of his mouth, but he is actually glad to be a Singaporean.

Low crime rate, no conventional (earthquakes, tsunamis etc.) natural disasters, stable government, free from major strife... it's not at all a bad place to live in. Granted there are things that are less than agreeable, but how many people would give anything just to be able to live in peace? Mothers always compare their children to kids from poorer countries (say Rwanda) when they waste food. "Children in Rwanda would give anything to eat the food you waste!", is what they normally say. He thinks it extends to more important things too. Like Peace.

Living in Singapore has cons too. Higher cost of living (well, prices are increase aren't they?), restricted press freedom, sometimes clumsy handling of issues are just some of them. But before he gets castigated, there's more...

At least Singaporeans have things to be grateful for. He doesn't know about you but he was taught that such things are not supposed to be taken for granted.

(Of course he is trying to live up to that teaching... hah~)

Dimsum!

2006-07-06T02:32:00.000+08:00

He successfully organised a dimsum outing with a small group of friends yesterday. Yeah~ Was held at the Teahouse @ China Square. Quite a big place really. Spacious, grand... and O the atmosphere....so very imperial chinese. Kinda odd to hear very 70-ish music under this setting though.

Anyways, met at 1430 and as usual, he was late. After getting a little lost, everyone finally sat down at the Teahouse 30 minutes later, just in time for the dimsum buffet. It was really weird to be the only customers around - all the staff's attention are focused on you... Not that it's something to complain about. Hah~ Anyways he thought that they took lots of food in the first round (the picture shows maybe half the table?). The food was really delicious... omg... so many different time of dumplings and what-nots. He doesn't even know the names of the food he downed in that first round. But come to think of it, they finished it quite fast. Amidst the eating, they chatted - the ambience was quite nice and there was always someone on hand to help you fill your cup (maybe it's because they have no one else to serve). The staff is rather friendly, offering lots of suggestions and urging them to eat more... even helping them to get the food. Ah...

Couldn't finish the food in the end. They stopped at the end of the second. Somehow it seems that they ate much less than they would do on other occasions. Hmm... Left quite abit of food (some of the dishes not shown in picture as they were cleared) but the staff didn't charge them a single cent nor scowl at them.

After the dimsum trip, he went for a fright night rehearsal at an abandoned farm in Seletar, which explains why he didn't post this earlier. Anyhows, the mood is way lighter. Things are finally looking up. =]

Disabled Part 1

2006-07-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

This post has been deleted.

Reason: None given.

Unknown Irish Song

2006-07-01T20:21:00.000+08:00

He stumbled across this song while reading a book. The lyrics is quite nice and he thought he'd share it. Though the book doesn't mention the title of the song, he found it on the Web. It's titled "Generous Lover" and is listed as an Irish folk song. Can only imagine what the tune must be like. Anyhows, here it is...

The first time I saw my love, happy was I,
I knew not what love was. nor how to deny;
But I made too much freedom of my love's company,
Saying my generous lover, you're welcome to me.

So fare thee well, darling, I now must away,
For I in this country no longer can stay;
But keep your mind easy, and keep your heart free,
Let no man be your sharer, my darling, but me.

Oh this poor pretty creature, she stood on the ground,
With her cheeks white as ivory, and the tears running down;
Crying Jamie, dearest Jamie, you're the first that e'er wooed me,
And I'm sorry that i ever said, you're welcome to me.

O happy is the girl that ne'er loved a man,
And easy can tie up a narrow waistband;
She is free from all sorrow and sad misery,
That never said, my lover, you're welcome to me.

I'd Say I'm Sorry Now

2006-06-24T21:45:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna let you down
I know that now
Make you cry, I know I will
Why should you believe
I would never leave
Or that I love you still
For all the by and by
Hard as we try
The boughs breaks and the craddle falls
For everything I do
That will tear at you
Let me say I'm sorry now

excerpt from the song by Shawn Colvin

Sleepy Head

2006-06-24T21:34:00.000+08:00

He's back for the weekend.

Strange but it seems that once one enters/returns to the army, there is a change in sleeping habits. As if there has been a change in mode. He sleeps alot more, especially during the day. He also sleeps whenever he can, something not many will do at home. Maybe it's in anticipation of the coming draining schedule. ~shrugZ~

But the week was not to be a typical army week for him. The beginning of the week began as above: lots of sleep alternating with the various trainings/tasks. Then sleep fled as thoughts about her snucked back into first, his dreams, then his conciousness.

- missing portion -

Will fill in the missing portion at a later time after getting some rest. Meanwhile...

Call-up

2006-06-18T11:31:00.000+08:00

He'll be gone for two weeks due to a reservist call-up. Bubbai~

Czechs and Italians

2006-06-18T11:16:00.000+08:00

Oh no... the Czechs lost to Ghana! What now?!

He was wondering what Czech Republic would do after the loss of its two important and recognised strikers in Baros and Jan Koller. Guess his question was answered (according to some, in style) by Ghana. 2-0! What happened to the confident, goal-scoring Rosicky? Or the golden hair Nedved? This was a match they were supposed to win! Now the last 16 spot is in jeopardy... HaiZ~

Hmmm... but wait, both the Czechs and the Italians can make it to the next round. If... Czech Republic win Italy 1-0 and Ghana is bogged down by USA in a goalless draw, Czechs and Italians can all celebrate. So can he! Lol~

Next Italy.

Timeless

2006-06-18T11:03:00.000+08:00

Yes, he can finally strike one off his wishlist now.

He first saw this watch after he was directed to Chronograph.com. After browsing through tons of pages, he stumbled across this piece, a Seiko Military Automatic (not sure what is the correct term really). It's not the same as Sihan's Timex but in a way, he prefers the simple watchface and the overall look. Looking at it, he decided that he has to have it. That was maybe... 3-4 months ago?

3-4 months later, he bought it, albeit with help from Marcus. Dream come true! Lalala~ Nice?

Life

2006-06-11T03:04:00.000+08:00

After all that had transpired during these brief two days, he has something to say to another 2 people:

You missed out on at least 17 years of my life,
Do you presume that I will share with you the rest?

我真的受伤了

2006-06-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

窗外阴天了音乐低声了

我的心开始想你了

灯光也暗了音乐低声了

口中的棉花糖也融化了

窗外阴天了人是无聊了

我的心开始想你了

电话响起了你要说话了

还以为你心里对我又想念了

怎么你声音变得冷淡了

是你变了是你变了

灯光熄灭了音乐静止了

滴下的眼泪已停不住了

天下起雨了人是不快乐

我的心真的受伤了

电话响起了你要说话了

还以为你心里对我又想念了

怎么你声音变得冷淡了

是你变了是你变了

灯光熄灭了音乐静止了

滴下的眼泪已停不住了

天下起雨了人是不快乐

我的心真的受伤了

我的心真的受伤了

Pain

2006-06-10T17:20:00.000+08:00

He spent the whole of yesterday working at a magazine distribution center in an attempt to work his mind off things. It sort of worked... The soreness of his hands coupled with the papercuts managed to do that for a while, but during break times the other pain came back. So he tried to work without a break. It worked.

He went home after that, showered and sat down in front of his desk. He turned on his player, set it on shuffle and just chilled out. Then this song played... 我真的受伤了 normally performed by Jackie Cheung. Except this version of the song is sang by a girl, Ivana Wong. The song by itself is already a very sad song. Couple the melancholic voice of Ivana, what you get is doubled impact. And he thought about him and her. And realised that 他变了...

Wow, heart pain... Finally, a day after it happened. And to think he was the one who brought it up.

Lost

2006-06-09T03:03:00.000+08:00

He has been thinking about it for the whole day it seems. Things they've done together kept flashing in his cluttered mind. That was when he realised that actually nothing much had been done. It did not lessen the guilt but, in fact, intensified it.

So now, the compiled list of emotions felt as of now:

Sad, pained, angry, pissed, stoned, blue, regretful, remorseful, spaced out, nightmarish, tired, drained, at a loss, confused, concussed, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty... (okae, some aren't really emotions but you get the idea)

He went out tonight to meet Gwen and GY for dinner and to try out the watch. Didn't really want to go because of the aforementioned incident. But there wasn't really a choice - he owed her? Or because he promised her? In the end, he didn't really enjoyed it as much (something would be wrong if he did, I think). He tried out the watch first at Vincent's, then at another watch shop (cannot recall the name). The watch is fine but the price is a tad too expensive. According to Marcus, the watch could be bought for less than a hundred. The lowest discounted is $131.00/-. Now he's thinking of getting it from Chronograph.com for US$75.00.

He's still thinking about the incident now, probably won't be able to sleep tonight. Ah well... 3 more hours before he has to get ready for work anyway. No point sleeping. Not with this plethora of "emotions" to feel.

Reprobate

2006-06-08T13:35:00.000+08:00

He did something very very bad. Now he is feeling very very bad. Not that it matters anyway. What's done is done; a billion "Sorry"s wouldn't mend anything.

Things that bring her joy, others can give to her.
Things that cause her hurt, only he can do to her.

Solace

2006-06-04T22:58:00.000+08:00

Remember you having the house all to yourself for one whole day? Well, he's living it again today, and it sure is fantastic. No one to glare at him when he puts his foot on the coffee table, no one to nag at him to clean his room, no one to see him walking around the house stark naked... (ah kidding) Bliss. Lying on the soft sofa, stretching, taking up the entire space. Now he knows how a full time couch potato feels. Hell, he almost fell asleep. Hmm... Oh and the kitchen is non-"out of bounds" too! Alas, no culinary aspirations for today; It's laze-around-sofa day.

And looks what's on TV today? An old flick (2000), "Space Cowboys". Hmm... Where does Channel 5 dig these movies out from? Quite like it though. Starring Clint Eastwood and Tommy Lee Jones, it's about a bunch of old (read 40s to 60s) ex-USAF personnel getting sent to space to restore an equally old Soviet satellite. Something happens during the mission of course and at the end, 3 of them went back to Earth while 1 shoots for the Moon. End scene finds him propped against the grey lunar rockscape with his darkened visor down, looking out to Earth (don't know whether he's alive or not but he is facing that direction). Then the classic hit played. Fly me to the moon... Oh God. Wonder whether if he is still alive. If he is, wonder how long he will stay that way. Found out the meaning of Daedalus, the name of the shuttle in the show. It means "cunning worker" in Latin (I think) for greek Daedalos. Daedalos is the creator of the Minotaur's Labyrinth in Cretan lore. Well, that's just a bit of trivia for you.

But night brought a new set of problems. HaiZ... He forgot his MSN password and got locked out of the password reset system. This means he can't use his "new" (read new old) computer yet. Still stuck on his original (read old old) computer. Hopes MSN remove the lock out tomorrrow.

Choices

2006-06-02T03:22:00.000+08:00

The first 2 of Singapore Idol final 12 have been decided. They are Jonathan and Paul. Hmm, not that it's unexpected. In fact, almost every neutral thought they two would get through. One had the looks, the charm, while the other had the personality and shall he say, Adam's Family-esque kind of air? Not to mention that both had the voice too. The rest of the contestants in the group were too bland and pale in comparison with the 2 of them. Ah well, the nation has spoken. The next girls' group shouldn't have much of a shock too. Rahimah(sp) Rahim should get through. The other spot should be up for grabs. He does fancy Jasmine Tye to make it. Underdog-esque.

More choices await. Should he follow family to JB this weekend? Or lead a bunch of friends for a session of boardgames at Mindcafe/Settlers'? Should he buy his watch now that the Great Singapore Sale is here or wait till Marcus gives the word? Choices, choices, choices. Anyhow, he should need to go to the shop and try it on before deciding to buy it. A prudent move one should say. Don't use a cannon to kill a mosquito.

~In English accent~ Care for some tea?

Okae, all of that is quite incoherent. Then again, does it matter? Lol~

Wise Words

2006-05-31T12:33:00.000+08:00

Wisdom from Oriah Mountain Dreamer, an Indian Elder:

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if can source your life from God's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

notes:
He found this piece of wisdom hanging around in his computer while he was doing some data cleanup. How long has it been? Three, four years since he had found it? Doesn't mean that he has been able to absorb and follow them though! Looks like a checklist, doesn't it? Hmm...

Genesis

2006-05-31T01:18:00.000+08:00

... and he stumbles across this space and is stunned. Lo! Finally a place to settle down in! So he sits down and makes himself feel comfy. As he relaxes, his hands twitches and a long feathered quill appears. Humming a little ditty, he starts to scrawl the day's happenings on the sand.

Thus begins the diary of the fictional character...